Lyrics to Backstage At Miner Mania (skit)
One true thing about professional wrestling, kids love it. They’re a target audience
Reporting live at the colosseum from backstage at Miner Mania, this is Doug Dingleman, I’m here with Magic the mauler and Bird the bruiser. Gentleman, it seems the rivalry continues. What do you have to say about that?
You come against me with sword and spear and javelin. But I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty. This day, the Lord will deliver you into my hands. And I will strike you down and knock your mlock off
Now, what on Earth does that mean?
Oh, I’ll tell you what it means, Dingleman. It means that the industry is officially on notice. Because the boys are back. In red and black
The time has come. For too long these pipsqueaks in leather pants have been doing karaoke on stage, lip syncing their brain dead raps at their little festivals, but I’ll tell you what. Playtime’s over
Strong words from Magic and Bird, and speaking of playtime, what is with these getups? Some would say your appearance is terrifying, and, unsightly!
Well, Douglas, you dress for the job you want, and we want war
War??
That’s right, Doug. We want war with the industry, heh. See, the hounds of heaven are back in red and black, heh. And now that we’re independent, heh, I feel like putting some labels through tables
And I feel like power bombing principalities
Yeah, how ‘bout, how ‘bout taking Satan and his sissy soldiers to suplex city?
Now, hold on now, that is quite the claim. Do you worry about what your fans will say when they see you like this?
Oh, we know what they’re saying. We hear the whispers
We hear the rumors, Doug
Well, what is it? What do they say?
Reporting live at the colosseum from backstage at Miner Mania, this is Doug Dingleman, I’m here with Magic the mauler and Bird the bruiser. Gentleman, it seems the rivalry continues. What do you have to say about that?
You come against me with sword and spear and javelin. But I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty. This day, the Lord will deliver you into my hands. And I will strike you down and knock your mlock off
Now, what on Earth does that mean?
Oh, I’ll tell you what it means, Dingleman. It means that the industry is officially on notice. Because the boys are back. In red and black
The time has come. For too long these pipsqueaks in leather pants have been doing karaoke on stage, lip syncing their brain dead raps at their little festivals, but I’ll tell you what. Playtime’s over
Strong words from Magic and Bird, and speaking of playtime, what is with these getups? Some would say your appearance is terrifying, and, unsightly!
Well, Douglas, you dress for the job you want, and we want war
War??
That’s right, Doug. We want war with the industry, heh. See, the hounds of heaven are back in red and black, heh. And now that we’re independent, heh, I feel like putting some labels through tables
And I feel like power bombing principalities
Yeah, how ‘bout, how ‘bout taking Satan and his sissy soldiers to suplex city?
Now, hold on now, that is quite the claim. Do you worry about what your fans will say when they see you like this?
Oh, we know what they’re saying. We hear the whispers
We hear the rumors, Doug
Well, what is it? What do they say?
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